These were too good! had to share. Enjoy:

Q.    What’s the difference between a car and a golf ball?
A.     Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.

A joke:

It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have
turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the
children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early
dismissal.

Teacher: “Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can
leave early today.”

Little Johnny says to himself “Good, I want to get outta here. I’m smart
and will answer the question.”

Teacher: “Who said ‘Four Score and Seven Years Ago’?”

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, “Abraham Lincoln.”

Teacher: “That’s right Susie, you can go home.”

Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.

Teacher: “Who said ‘I Have a Dream’?”

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, “Martin Luther King.”

Teacher: “That’s right Mary, you can go.”

Johnny is even madder than before.

Teacher: “Who said ‘Ask not, what your country can do for you’?”

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, “John F. Kennedy.”

Teacher: “That’s right Nancy, you may also leave.”

Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the
questions.

When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, “I wish these bitches would
keep their mouths shut!”

The teacher turns around: “NOW WHO SAID THAT?”

Johnny: “TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?”

Q.    Did you hear why Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree?
A.    He couldn’t decide between a wood and an iron.

Q.   What is the similarity between Tiger Woods and baby seals?
A.    They both get clubbed by Norwegians.

WARNING: Norwegians in mirror may be closer than they appear.

This just in…..
the PGA has declared that fire hydrants are in fact a WATER Hazard!

Tiger’s new movie is out: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant.

Apparently the police asked Tiger’s wife how many times she hit him. She said “I don’t know exactly… but put me down for a 5.”

Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole-in-one.

What’s the difference between a car and a golf ball?  Tiger can drive a ball 300 yards……..

What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning?…..they went clubbing.

Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree, apparently he couldn’t decide between a wood or an iron.

Rumor has it Phil Mickelson contacted Tiger’s wife to pick up some tips on how to beat Tiger.

Tiger’s wife is willing to forgive him……..if he changes his name to CHEETAH!

Categorized as Humor